It seems like I'm sharing some quirky things this week!
Yesterday, I was writing a message to a friend, talking about something that was bothering me. As I was writing, I thought to myself "Maude, you're complaining, what's the point?"
I didn't want to censor myself, so I kept writing to fully express my thoughts. I figured I might not send the message to avoid burdening her with my stuff, but if I needed to get it all out, maybe there was a reason for it.
And yes, when I finished writing the message, I realized something about the situation I was talking about. Seeing it written out like that brought clarity. There were no more "yes but...", "yes but...", I could now face the truth and accept the reality of what was going on, even if it was uncomfortable.
Our thoughts move quickly, and many parts of us contribute to the internal dialogue. And then we think of something else...
When we talk to someone, the process is different, our mind organize itself and the thoughts show up differently. And that's where keys can be found.
I ended my message with this sentence:
"I feel like I'm ranting, but I think I needed to get it out so that I could look at it".
I love talking to people who don’t speak French because English ways of saying something are sometimes so unique. I would never have phrased it like that in French, and the imagery here is valuable:
I feel like I’m ranting, but what I’m actually doing is putting outside what’s inside me, allowing me to look at it.
The literal translation in French is a bit odd, but the process becomes clear: when I talk about something that’s bothering me, I give it shape. I can then see how it presents itself, what words do I use? How do I talk about it? I’m complaining, yes, maybe, but how? About what exactly? What is the precise thing that’s really getting to me and making me brood?
I’ve had several realizations while exchanging voice messages with another friend. I call us the explorers. We share what we’re going through, and sometimes we surprise ourselves “Hmm, I’ve never talked about it that way before” and there we open a door, we find a key 🔑
In speaking, there’s a speed and spontaneity that allow things to emerge. The key lies in how we phrase things.
In writing, we slow down the thinking process long enough to write, which opens space for more depth and also allows things to emerge.
Or to emerge differently and give us a new perspective.
Doors regularly open in the way we express ourselves and present ourselves to the world. The game is to find the key. Yes, life is like Fort Boyard!! 😃😄
[Fort Boyard is a tv-show where people open doors and have to find keys in the rooms]
So, complaining just to complain? No.
Although it can lighten the load! 😁
But complaining as a tool for exploration, awareness, and growth? Yes 😊