I recently felt it was time for me to receive a healing session on the most sensitive trauma of my life, from someone who, like me, practices soul retrieval.
I found it interesting how my wounded parts manifested to prevent this session from happening, and I wanted to share with you this beautiful inner mechanism on which it is good to shed some light.
I realized afterward that the appointment I had made overlapped with another one, a curious coincidence... and the first arguments were there: "Well, this is the one I must cancel; it’s probably a sign, it’s not the right time."
So I canceled.
But it kept gnawing at me; I truly felt the inner calling that it was time.
New waves of arguments came: "You can’t call people back to reschedule both appointments; that’s not appropriate. You should wait, we’ll see about it later, it was probably not the right time."
I’m used to discern what manifests within me through my inner parts, so I said stop, I decided to decide 😉 and not let the doubt and conditioning decide for me. I rescheduled the appointments to make this session happen.
And from that moment, anger came to me, subtly at first, then more strongly, and it started again: "I don’t want to do this session, we’ll discuss another topic, there’s no way I’m talking about that, I don’t care, I won’t tell them anything about it". It kept pushing me once again to cancel my appointment or use it to explore something else.
I tuned it with this very angry part and told it that, yes, I too didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t want to open that box, but it was time, so we were going to do it.
When it understood that I wouldn’t back down, the anger switched to sadness.
A new wave of arguments arose: "It’s too painful, I don’t want to stir that up, I don’t want to confront that again, I don’t want to go through that suffering again."
At lunchtime, just before the session, even fear presented itself, it was mild but certainly enough to make me reconsider my appointment if I wasn’t aware of this part of me that didn’t want us to work on what it carried.
The session was emotional, indeed, but with such gentleness and beauty to be able to connect with this part and hear what it bore. Even though I knew the pain it carried, I could uncover how it had transformed it into foundations and beliefs. Principles it held that might seem surprising but made sense to it and conditioned my life immensely.
I also had very debilitating physical ailments for years, and they lightened a lot after this session, I couldn't believe it myself. Of course this is a topic I’ve explored before, on several occasions, but this time we worked on a key part, and the suffering it carried, that I carried, had crystallized firmly in certain parts of my body. Now life flows again in those spaces, in my body and my being.
There will be another session on the same theme because it’s so deep that this kind of blocks are addressed in different layers, but this session was an invaluable gift on my journey, and I wanted to share the process with you because our suffering parts, using the ingenious tool that is our mind, will do everything to remain in our blind spots, to hide, to stay in our unconscious, to protect us.
If we bring them to light, they will then tell us all sorts of things so that we don’t go to meet them, they will negotiate, and they are extremely skilled at it since they're in touch with our emotional core.
As it was a violent and deep trauma, the mechanism was evident and very pronounced, but it is often much more subtle, and our busy lives also help us not to pause and look inside ourselves.
In any case, if you feel the call to harmonize and reintegrate parts of yourself, know that they may try to dissuade you 😁